Sexual Calorie Counter

 (Courtesy from: Elizabeth Gursecki, http://www.c4vct.com, http://www.guzer.com)

Quite interesting to note how much calories are burnt for each sexual activity.

Having Sex

Make it hot, make it loud, make it last - these are the keys to annihilate those calories during sex. Having sex with your partner can get rid of 85 to 150 calories per half hour, depending on all of the variables. You can also go for several position changes for an overall body workout. And don’t just lie or sit there, get moving! If you’re lying on top, sway your hips. If you’re squatting on top, bounce up and down. Of course, make sure that you reach your peak. More calories are lost if you orgasm.

Who said exercise has to be boring and tedious? Surely, you’ll never get tired of this pleasurable workout, and it's an activity that both you and your partner can benefit from. So take advantage of your Saturday morning, afternoon or night and burn some calories

.

 Kissing
Get ready for a smooch fest and lose 68 calories per hour. When you and your partner first started dating, you’d find yourself locking lips at every chance you have. A few minutes later, you’d be gasping for air. That’s how much work is being done every time your mouth meets his. More vigorous kissing and petting can burn up to 100 calories in an hour, according to Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of "Red Hot Touch." She also recommends kissing in unusual positions. Kissing in different positions can potentially burn up to 200 calories in an hour.

Group Sex

Introducing yourself		3 calories
Overcoming shyness		8 calories
Swapping partners, willingly		4 calories
Swapping partners, unwillingly		62 calories
Jealousy (Partner having more fun than you are)		16 calories
Mixed doubles		26 calories
Being nice to everyone		100 calories
Anger (You suddenly realize that you're wanted for you body and not your mind. Difficult to cope with, especially if you have a Ph.D.)		10 calories
Finding your clothes		5 calories

Special Orgasms

Clitoral.		15 calories
Vaginal		21 calories
Penile		21 calories
Scrotile		15 calories
Rectal		25 calories
Oral (can also occur during an especially good meal)		30 calories

  Giving Oral Sex
Oral sex isn’t only for adding variety to your sexual techniques. It’s also an effective body workout that can burn 100 calories for every 30 minutes. Blast even more calories by getting into different positions while in action. Try yoga positions like the downward facing dog or do some pushups while you’re at it. Your partner will be so excited and amazed.

Pulling Out

After orgasm		1/4 calorie
A few moments before orgasm		500 calories

Positions

Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other)		20 calories
Woman on top, man on bottom (Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.)		25 calories
From the rear (Mysterious variation)		40 1/2 calories
Standing: Both partners of equal height		18 calories
Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man		90 calories
While in traction (very useful during ski season)		124 calories

Masturbation

For pleasure only		6 calories
For exercise, too		10 calories
For relief from tension		12 calories
To pass the time		7 calories
To avoid overeating		16 calories
To get in touch with inner self		10 calories
To get in touch with outter self		10.5 calories
To avoid insanity		24 calories
To avoid spending money on a date (In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.)		9 calories
Using your hand(s)		11 calories
Using your finger(s)		9 calories
Using tweezers		2 calories
Using an inflatable doll		24 calories
Using Any fruit or vegetable (Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley)		19 calories
Using a vibrator, hand-operated		12 calories
Using a vibrator, windup		9 calories
Using a vibrator, electric		5 calories
Using anything not mentioned here		50 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket		2.5 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat		78 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat		3 calories

Premature Ejaculation*

During insertion		2 calories
During intercourse (Approximately. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, whichever comes first.)		5 calories
During foreplay		3 calories
Immature ejaculation (Similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum.)		4 calories

Pulling Out

After orgasm		1/4 calorie
A few moments before orgasm		500 calorie

Orgasm

Real		27 calories
Faked		160 calories

Approaching Orgasm

Letting go		5.5 calories
Controlling yourself		79 calories
Digging nails into your partner's back		11 calories
Trembling		15 calories
Shaking		20 calories
Shuddering		25 calories
Trying to keep eyes open		33 calories

Sex Related Noises

Short gasps (per gasp)		3 calories
Wheezing		5 calories
Squeals		4 calories
Ecstatic moaning		11 calories
Low growling		8 calories
Squishing		10 calories
Shouting		16 calories
Screaming		18 calories
Urgent begging		22 calories
Any short speech giving partner directions ("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.)		25 calories

 

The Act of Insertion

If the man is ready (same vice-versa)		1/4 calories
If the woman is not (same vice-versa)		274 calories